Posts by Lady Lee

in light of the recent events on this site and the birthing of a new ex-jw online forum by bboy, i thought the most important thing i can offer any who are interested is an opportunity to positively and personally promote changes to make your online experience here not only more fun, but more rewarding to you personally.

i did a lot of searching for information about the evolution and changing of online communities and i discovered this article below that just blew me away with its insight and practicality.

Lady Lee

very interesting article MC thanks for posting it

Since I am trying to establish several different communities there are some good things there for me to keep in mind

45

Secrect of your Marriage

by Crystal in

who here has been married...10 years or more?is it a great marriage and what is the secret of keeping it together?

Lady Lee

For a totally different spin :)

Hmmm in my marriage of 15 years the secret was - give him everything he wants, ask for nothing in return. Be patient, understanding and have the dinner on the table when he walks in the door so he can gulp it down and rush out for a meeting or or into his study to prepare yet another talk. Oh and be a perfect example in the cong - good little elder's wife. And never ever tell anyone that he abuses you and the kids. Worked for him. He was very happy.

Now I am very happy with hubby #2 and we just had our first anniversary. In this one, I can just be me.

2

Molestation Case That Hurts My Soul-Non-JW

by Undecided in

there are things in this life that can shock and disappoint us when we learn the truth about things.

we never know a persons real character for sure, we only think we do.

sometimes a person can be good and evil at the same time and possibly not able to control it.

Lady Lee

NOTE: Some of my comments might be triggering to some people. Please don't read if you are feeling vulnerable

Danny I won't even pretend that I know what goes on in the mind of a molester. I don't I only know the other side - the victim.

What I do know is that many people who have never bonded with their children as infants are at higher risk of abusing them. Men who are totally involved in the daily care of their children are at lower risk. Most men who abuse do so after some life change - loss of job, bankruptcy, illness (although that doesn't always apply either) but it puts men at greater risk.

Many people who abuse are good con artists. They know how to hide. It is like they are 2 different people. One is the nice guy, good repuation, pillar of the community etc. I believe that many JWs are like this. They get away with the abuse so long because no one would believe the victims and the victims don't tell because they know no one would believe that this man is an abuser. I have worked with numerous women whose abuser fell into this category. (The other category is just plain nasty and everyone knows it - my father is like the nasty one but my step-father was the guy everyone loved).

In reality some men do feel remorse over their behavior but they are too scared to try to get help and probably wouldn't have known where to go anyways (even now treatemnt programs for abusers are rare and have long waiting lists)

If your friend was the first "good guy" sort then there wouldn't have been much for you to see. A lot of people think they should have picked up on something. If they are good at hiding it is hard to know what to look for. Some people also feel bad that they could have liked such a person. You liked the part he showed you - one side only. And he probably made really sure you never saw the other side.

I can accept that a man like this abuses a child once out of lack of control or whatever you want to call it. But the moment he realizes he will be in trouble if he is caught is the moment he knows he has done wrong. It is also the moment he begins to plan his defense. He thinks about his lies to protect himself. He considers what to say if confronted. He plans this very carefully. I have talked to a few and they had their answers ready.

But the next time he abuses a child it isn't an accident. He has to begin to plan. How to get the child alone. How to keep her quiet. How to make sure no one catches him. And if someone was to walk in he has a "story" to tell them ("Just tucking her in" or "I thought she was having a nightmare" are common). My point is he plans each and every attack after that first time.

The horror for the child is that she has to get up in the morning and pretend nothing happened. But she lives with the fear that it will happen again. And again. She too learns to play a game - one persona for the world and another to herself.

And as horrible as abusing a child is, research shows that children with disabilities are at much higher risk of being abused than other children.

You are right when you say that we never can really know a person - well some people. Those who need to hide - do

6

How do you get your family back?

by Gerard in

i was wondering if any one you know has gotten their family back by showing them proofs of watchtower's un membership or regi u.s. inc (owned 50% by watchtower) fabricating engines for war machines?

my dear friend is about to do it and i am quite skeptical they will believe this and snap out of this shunning.. respectfuly,.

gerry

Lady Lee

How do you get your family back?

Considering the type of person my mother is...

Why would I want to?

35

London Bethel Raided by Police

by DevonMcBride in

can anyone confirm if this is true?

i received the e-mail below:

panorama was shown 14th july and we heard shortly after that the police were very interested!

Lady Lee

Drat and all this time I thought it was Ringo just trying to throw the blame on one of the other guys

29

My illustration web site is finally done.

by seven006 in

jw
friends

with working on client's projects and playing on this board i finally squished in some time in to finish my site.

it isn't anything fancy with animations and shockwave magic shooting all over the place like i have done in the past.

it is simple, clean, and straight forward boring html.. the work is just a small portion of what i have done over the last year or so.

Lady Lee

Wow you have some great work there.

One problem I had though was that I could not read what the links said - place between the little arrows - that is if there is something there to read. If there is text there it was too dark and blended into the background. I know my screen sees pages darker than my laptop or my husbands computer. It is set on the lightest settings. Even still if there is text there it might be helpful to either lighten it or have a roll over - Just a thought

On the other hand if there is no text - just ignore me

27

A piece of me reaching out...

by Mimilly in

i have been laying on my bed for awhile now, trying very hard to just stay still.

today, i left this board for a break.

while typing it out, there was a steak knife at my side (from cleaning guck out of the mouse), but it beckoned me.

Lady Lee

Salem Mimilly email on the way